By Aaron Buttery, C4SO NextGen Leadership Associate

Advent is upon us, and with it the start of a new church year, a great time for students to reevaluate their constant media distractions and busy schedules. It may seem impossible for students to create and implement a Rule of Life. But a Rule of Life is possible—and even vital—for students to foster a life of holiness in the whirlwind of an ever-shifting, post-Christendom culture. 

Understanding a Rule of Life

A Rule of Life is a simple written pattern of attitudes, behaviors, and practices that are regular and routine, intended to foster a life of holiness and godliness. A student’s Rule should take into account the limits and opportunities of their life, including personality, circumstance, and relationships. We build our Rule of Life by reflecting on the practical steps we believe God is leading us to take to discipline our lives so we will live in alignment with God’s will—that we may indeed be holy as he is holy (Leviticus 11:44; Matthew 5:48; 1 Peter 1:16).

Here are a few characteristics of an effective Rule. 

Simple: The Rule needs to be simple, basic. The goal is ordering and orienting your life by a few key practices. The simplicity of the Rule means it can be applied anywhere in your life.

Sacred: The Rule creates space in your life for Holy Spirit-powered transformation. It is how you intend to seek the “pace of grace,” rather than determining what pace you can survive. The Rule is written to be consistent with scripture, promote receiving from the Trinity, and assist you to live as holy in the world.

Short: The Rule should be short, especially as you begin one for the first time. Clearly each idea or line of the Rule could be expanded to include more specifics, but take time to ensure that no element can be condensed or left out. The Rule should be something that you can readily remember.

Sincere: The Rule is intended to be your genuine expression of a sincere desire to continue the godly life of a disciple. The Rule is meaningless if you don’t mean it.

With a clearer understanding of a Rule of Life, it’s time to get started. Students, with the guidance of leaders and parents, can create a Rule of Life by following these 3 steps.

Step 1: Pause and Pray.
To begin crafting a Rule of Life, first pause and pray. Set apart time and space, even as brief as 15 minutes in a comfortable spot. Then pray explicitly for clarity, desire and direction to craft a Rule with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. A prayer from Anselm of Canterbury: Teach me to seek you, and as I seek you, show yourself to me; for I cannot seek you unless you show me how, and I will never find you unless you show yourself to me. Let me seek you by desiring you, and desire you by seeking you; let me find you by loving you, and love you in finding you. Amen.

Step 2: Ask Questions.

Select a few questions from this list (but don’t try to do all of them at once). When you have chosen 2-3 questions, take a moment to consider what the question is asking and then give a full and personal response. These questions are not in a specific order.

  • What is the foundation of my life? What principles and ideals drive me as a person?
  • When and how often will I pray? Read the scriptures?
  • What activities will I consider to be essential?
  • What specific activities will I or won’t I engage in?
  • What will my eating, exercising, and sleeping habits be?
  • How will I find health in friendships, school, home, and work?
  • What practices will I seek to engage in on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis? Where will I engage in these disciplines? What time of day/week/month/year?
  • What spiritual disciplines will I share with a spiritual friend(s) to join in together?
  • What additional activities or practices are important, given my personality? How will I incorporate these into the rhythm of my spiritual practices?
  • What practices are particularly needed because of my sins or negative patterns?
  • How will I need to adjust my schedule in order to consistently live this Rule of Life?
  • Who will I trust to share this Rule with to hold me accountable to it, and to help improve it?

Step 3: Write and Live.
Review your responses to the questions and begin writing your Rule. Remember, you are writing simple, short sentences that are actionable, reasonable and measurable. Keep your Rule in “draft” mode as you write and begin to live into it. Share it with a trusted leader or clergy person for both accountability and improvement on a regular basis. Make edits as you grow in holiness and as life changes. And live. 

Do you have questions or ideas about raising up the Next Generation of leaders in your community? Contact Aaron.  

The Rev. Aaron Buttery leads and facilitates the NextGen Leadership team from Christ Church Plano. As a 20+ year NextGen ministry leader, a two-time church planter, and leadership coach with Spiritual Leadership, Inc., he serves as the primary contact in C4SO for questions, ideas, and excitement about young people and growing young leaders. Contact him at aaron@c4so.org.